Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
