My friends, they love my intelligence
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i think i have herpe
just one?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
