Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
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