Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
