So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
