Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
