My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
