Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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