she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
