I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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