so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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