so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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