Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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