You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
