I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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