Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
