I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Randomize
