Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
