I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
