I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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