he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
