i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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