wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
