He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
