I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
