But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize