I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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