this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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