what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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