oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
