I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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