I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
