Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
