You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
