OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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