Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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