you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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