Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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