Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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