We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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