I puked a lego.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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