i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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