so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
