How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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