You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
