Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
