PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
