and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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