Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize