Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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