people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
