guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
