oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
