question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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