if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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