your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
