The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
