from now on my penis is your penis
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
