I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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