I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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