So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
