these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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