dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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