White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
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