When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
