I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
