the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
