i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Quick, to the slutcave!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
