I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
