her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
