Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
