You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
