Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES

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(352): View more from Florida

I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex

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(419): View more from Ohio

Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?

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(660): View more from Missouri

Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...

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(336): View more from North Carolina

You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.

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(206): View more from Washington

No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.

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(407): View more from Florida

Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation

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(269): View more from Michigan

The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.

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