Porn is love you can see.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
